Finding Hearts
by BldyMalice
Summary: Demyx/Xigbar. Takes place before Roxas ever shows up. -- Demyx has been thinking a lot, about Hearts and Passions. Xigbar has been thinking, too. Stupid thoughts he doesn't want, but that's thinking none the less! Violence and Mature themes
1. I

**Kingdom Hearts (c) Disney and Square Enix**

Man, I don't know what's up with the Document editor thingit, but it's reaallly messin' my shit up. Holy crap. Good thing I didn't try and type this up in here first off.

Hm. So, first off, the Author's notes and rambles. Because I do that. Demyx and Xigbar, Yum. S'true. At the point of writing this, i have yet to finidh 358/2 Days, so this all takes place in the organization with no Roxas or anything to be heard of. So, before 358/2 Days.

Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, this will end up beign extremely violent. If not, it'll either dribble away, or turn into retarded fluff. EITHER WAY. Um, Xigbar's personality is extremely hard for me to grasp for some reason, and I made Demyx a stuttering, fast talking dork. But that's pretty much what he is, SO!

PLEASE tell me if there's anything that seems overly OOC, or if I mess anything up, because if you don't tell me, I won't notice and other people get to come after you being all "wtf."

Also, thanks to a fanfic I read a while back, I think maybe a Naruto one, sadly? Writing fanfics to the theme songs of whatever it is is SO beneficial. Really. I've been rocking out to Sanctuary the entire time of writing this. Hmm Hmm.

Sorry for the long, rambly intro. I just like talking to my readers. And, on that note, I am a TERRIBLE writer in the way that I get stuck a LOT, so by god, if you have an idea for this, message me about it, and I'll probably use it, and it'll get stuff DONE. I want input from you! What do you think so and so should do, think, any catchy lines, any cute moments you'd like me to flesh out?

Really, I'm so open, guys. Well! Here it goes, Please tell me if it's ok so I can work on continuing it while I'm in my fantarding phase. Hmm hmm.

* * *

"Well, I dunno, see..." The smaller boy trailed off again, planting his head in his palm in thought. "I like to think of it as... Ah, why d' we gotta go getting all these hearts when we can make our own, you know?"

Next to him, Xigbar tilted his head. "Make…?"

"Well, yeah! Like, ahhh, how do I explain it? Y'gotta find something that makes you happy. And uh – Well, isn't there anything that makes you feel? Like, even just a little bit? Something' you really like? I mean, if you look at us, everyone in the Organization has somethin' that they cling to. 'Cause it makes us _something,_ right…? I have my music and Lux' has his card games. …Larxene has her loud mouth." The name made him cringe a little, but he laughed it off with a small head shake. "Doesn't something just make you… Smile? Laugh…?"

The older man tilted his head up, his one eye slowly sliding closed. The eternal moonlight of the castle was calm, the cooling breeze – he could feel that.

He cleared his mind and then his throat before speaking, "I don't think I have anything like that, really."

He opened his eye again and tilted it down to take in the other, whose iconic, easygoing grin had faded. It was strange, to see Demyx not smiling. After a moment, Xigbar decided he almost looked… sad. That was a stupid thought, even if Demyx had always been overly expressive for a Nobody.

"What..? Somethin' get you down, Runt?"

"Aah, naw. S'just… A shame, really. You gotta find something that makes this life seem like a life, seem worth living, right? Kick back, relax, and do what you love! Ain't that what everyone wants? …Right?"

More silence was his only reply. He frowned, leaping to his feet. "What's up with you, Xiggy? Why y'being so quiet? That's a little unlike you, don't you think? Not even a passing comment? Come on, man, I've spent a lot of time thinkin' about this stuff, you could give me a little feedback!" Demyx waved his hands in front of himself dramatically; leaning over the still seated Nobody. "…Please..?"

Xigbar shifted, reaching up to grab the wiry boy's coat. Demyx flinched, hard. He didn't like being touched in any way whatsoever, but he resisted the urge to leap back. Instead, he raised an eyebrow at the older man, who still wasn't looking up at him.

They stayed like that for a few moments, sitting on the cool stone rail. Then Xigbar raised himself up, avoiding eye contact until the last moment, when he was once again towering over the water user. He tugged him closer by the coat he was still gripping, causing Demyx to whine audibly. He _really_ didn't like being touched.

"Don't you have a mission to be working on?" He asked after a long pause coloured only by his unwavering one-eyed stare.

Demyx winced back farther, a nervous smile following the stuttering laughter. "Ahh- Well, see, the thing with that was I was gonna ask you in a bit, s'why I asked you to come out here really, since it's on the way of something you're doin', if you could.."

"… Yeah, I'll get it. I saw the mission sheet. …No problem." He sighed and raised his eyebrow at the jumpy boy, releasing him from the grip. "I should get going, then. Don't forget to check in with Saix, and tell Luxord I can't make it to tonight's game, since I'll be out late, doing _your_ double duty."

With that he turned, opened a corridor, and passed into it. Demyx stood still for a while, his arms still slightly raised in defense from an imaginary blow. He frowned again. When had he started flinching around like some sort of kicked puppy?

Shrugging it off, he likewise opened a corridor back to the castle, and stepped into the cold depths of it.

- -

Xigbar stopped and sighed for the thousandth time that day. It was stupid of him, and he knew it damn well, but he couldn't get what Demyx had said out of his head. '_Finding' _your heart. Isn't that what they were doing? Finding the heart of all hearts, Kingdom Hearts!

But at the same time, something in him had started to doubt. It wasn't big, at all, but he had observed many times for himself how Demyx smiled and could play his Sitar for hours, that dreamy look on his face, or how pleased Luxord was when he played a good hand and had everyone else groaning at his mercy. His own guns, at the range…? Hitting always on the target, which made him smile, didn't it? Watching others marvel at him, a good day of work. He frowned.

He didn't much care for any of the other organization members – work was work and coworkers were coworkers. He wasn't number two for no reason. The frown deepened. It was a stupid thing to think about, especially when there was work to be done. He let his mood lighten a bit, sighed again, and slipped back into his portal. He had some Heartless to destroy, and if he wanted to return to the Castle in time to sleep, he'd better get a move on.

------

When he stepped out of the corridor at the castle, the first thing he did was quickly glance around for hard asses. Seeing none, he relaxed and strode over to his favorite couch, where he flopped down and summoned his Sitar. Standing not far off from him, Saix was checking the Mission log, his face as stoic as ever.

Demyx played a few notes, paused, and played a few more. Deciding it wasn't really worth it to fuss over stupid things; he cleared his mind and let his music carry him, feeling it soaking through his entire existence.

He stayed like that, on the couch in the Grey Area, playing nothing in particular on his Sitar, feeling the vibrations wash over him. He only paused momentarily to decline Luxord's enthusiastic round-up for the night's Poker game, and even remembered to mention that Xigbar wouldn't be able to make it. He didn't mention that it was because he was doing _his_ collection, but hey, it's not like he was lying. Xigbar would be out late, so there!

It was amazing how many hours he could pass like this, calm and thoughtless, completely absorbed in the motions of his fingers, the strumming, the pressing of each string. He only stopped, finally, when Larxene got on his case, chewing him apart for being useless and giving her a headache with his annoying noise.

He scowled heavily as he picked up his beloved instrument and weapon, quickly relocating to his room; he wasn't up for a fight - even over his music. Not with Larxene, anyways. That woman was like the bane of his existence, always hounding him like some hateful witch. He wondered if she enjoyed toying with him.

The next handful of minutes were blank, the boy zoned out in a thoughtless hum, his Sitar in his lap and his hands completely still. When he snapped back he yawned slowly; deciding it was bed time, he set his Sitar against the wall next to his bed, and decided to call it a night. You could never get too much sleep!

Not to mention he needed it, after all the wheedling and whining he'd been doing lately. It was hard work, making others do everything for you!

After peeling off his Organization robes and boots, he crawled into bed, actually using the plain grey sheets rather than laying on top of them like he knew half the other organization members did. He didn't really care what anyone said, sleep was sleep and he liked to enjoy it when he got it.

His dreams were strange and wispy, flashes of a life he'd never known. It was nothing new to him, though, and they came and passed fluidly without him being any the wiser.

When he woke, it was the soft touch on the skin of his exposed back that lulled him from the weightless in-between. Shuddering but still rather unaware, he shifted, willing away whatever had woken him, and kicking to half-assedly fix one of his black pant legs, which had crawled up his leg in his sleep. Satisfied, he started to melt into the pillow again, the thick comfort of sleep returning to claim its victim.

Then the touch came again, and he heard words.

_Words._

In his room. He snapped his eyes open, and was blinded by the blur of sleep; he froze, trying to pick out what they were saying.

"_..thought I'd come since I finally got back…"_

He stiffened more, piecing the words together. ..Xigbar!

Rolling over, Demyx rubbed his eyes, kicking the sheet from where it was wrapped around his leg, restricting his movement. Above him, Xigbar stood stiffly, his hand still slightly outstretched, his one eye wide and his expression surprisingly soft.

"... M'sleepin'…" Demyx managed around his parched tongue. How long had he already been asleep? It seemed like he had only just curled up...

Xigbar blinked and looked away for a moment. It was disturbing, how often he found himself lost for words with one of the most talkative Nobodies in the organization. He cleared his throat slowly, trying to keep his eyes from wandering over the moonlit form.

He looked away. Demyx had rolled over more, and was lifting himself up and rubbing one eye. "What're you doing' in here, you creep? Do you realize how fuckin' strange this is? "

"I..." Xigbar started, and then trailed off.

Demyx narrowed his eyes a little. Feeling completely awkward, Xigbar reached into his coat pocket to dig out the munny he had brought for the boy. "I was just going to drop off your prize for you, idiot. Here. Now go back to bed."

Throwing the munny bag at into the other's lap, Xigbar quickly straightened his coat and stepped back, leaving by way of one of his dark portals.

Demyx kept staring at the spot where the sharpshooter had disappeared. He felt pretty thoroughly violated, and it was a while after he had flopped back over onto his side that he managed to drift off to sleep.

Dreams swept in to snatch him up the instant his consciousness was drained away.

_-_

_He was standing, he knew that much. He couldn't really see what was around him – a grey hue, that same grey that covered everything he'd ever known. Blotches of colour formed here and there. Voices. He was on a stage, at one moment. He felt himself swell, pride for himself, his accomplishments. How far he'd gotten in life! Everyone was screaming, cheering for him, for _him!

_Then pain, piercing his lower back. He stiffened, eyes wide. The pain radiated, crippled him, and tore through his spine. He crumpled, and the guitar he had been clutching clattered to the ground and skittered away. The crowd swirled and vanished._

_He knew he'd been shot, though nothing he had seen had given any clue towards it._

_His vision wavered, and he could see himself, the pink crystal-shaped bolt protruding from his back. He fell, writhed, tried his best to reach back and pull it out, but couldn't. Flat on the floor – hadn't it just been a stage? The marble of the Castle that Never Was, his room, a field. _

_His surroundings swirled, and he felt sick. He pried his eyes to the sky, swirling of different colours. Was it purple or red?_

_Above him, standing over him, Xigbar appeared, his laughter friendly as he brandished one of his guns as though showing off a cool trick. Demyx could taste blood. He shifted, the view shifted, and he could see it pooling out from his stomach, the pink shard glittering as the pain pierced through his very being._

_As the blood spread, the warmth, he felt it fading, and the blackness came to save him, swirling around him and claiming him as its own._

-

Demyx cried out as he thrashed awake, the sheets entwined with his legs causing him to fumble and crash to the floor. He sat up, panting, his eyes wide and half-dried tears shining on his face. For a moment he just sat there, focusing on breathing and willing the white-hot pain from his spine.

He was shaking everywhere. Never had his dreams had such vivid… _pain._

There was no way he was going to get back to sleep, now. Sighing, he rose to his feet and kicked his pant legs straight, adjusting the waistband shakily and rubbing his face to try and get the images out of his mind's eye. It didn't work very well.

Donning his coat, he gently lifted his Sitar up and brought it out into the Grey Area with him, where he habitually assumed his position on his favorite couch. He still couldn't shake that awful, gut wrenching feeling.

-- - - - - - - -


	2. II

**Kingdom Hearts (c) Disney and Square Enix**

I am amazing at sudden, extremely abrupt endings, am I not? Haha! Writing was never my strong point; lend me a bit of slack, yeah? Alright, I'm still fumbling with how to connect the dots with this, or get something akin to a plotline formed, AANNDD, any input would be absolutely wonderful!!

Also: My Nobodies bleed and bruise, and I don't care. Call me a gore lover, but that's the way it is. Everyone does things a little different, yeah? Sorry for all the annoying rambling, it's a good thing it's easy to skip past!~

**Kyuubi_kun**: Baww, thank you! It's such a nice change to get a real review, rather than an "OMGZILUVTHISLEMONZPLZ?" As for Xigbar being stiffer, it has partly to do with his mind state and how I need him to be, and partly with me just being retarded with his attitude.  
Something in my head says he's one of the free spirits of the organization, as most gunner-style characters, the older, sarcastic veterans, tend to be somewhat impulsive, as they have the experience to guide them along. BUT, his OOC-ish-ness is part of the story as well, he's acting somewhat strange and everyone can see it. Here, maybe this next part will help with that. ~

* * *

Xigbar snarled as the hit from the Heartless he was fighting landed, taking a neat little gash out of his shoulder - even through his coat. He spun quickly, leaping backwards as he took it out with a flurry of well-aimed shots. Grumbling and without missing a beat, he flashed into one of his portals and reappeared several meters away, right above his next target, which he assaulted with a similar stream of destruction. A quick glance around and he let himself drop from the rift, flipping with ease to land in a crouch, his shoulder stinging sharply.

Hissing, he checked the wound, and was pleased that it was shallow enough to be mended with a low level Cure. It wasn't often he got hit, and by a measly Neoshadow, at that. The things were a lot sharper than they appeared, he'd give them that. Straightening, he brushed himself off and mentally tallied up his progress. He had been working double time, lately, which seemed to keep his superiors content, if nothing else.

That was probably why the stinking Heartless he'd been methodically taking out were landing so many extra hits. He refused to admit the slowly growing exhaustion, but he had begun to see its effect.

Zexion had been the only one thus far to question his increased workload, though Saix had chipped in curtly about the type of missions he kept repeatedly signing up for. All elimination missions, destroying this, taking out that. He had brushed the comments off easily enough, but the truth of the matter was that fight after fight kept his blood pumpin' and his mind blank and focused. Just the way it should be, in his opinion.

It most definitely had nothing to do with the annoying thoughts that had been plaguing him lately, thoughts he had no idea what to do with. His own hesitation was eating away at him. He wasn't one to freeze up, and the fact that he had nagged the hell out of him. Even now, standing in the calm before the storm, he could feel the moonlit image gnawing away at the back of his skull.

"Man, what a lump I've been lately…" He sighed as he dashed forward, using his portals to cover distance more efficiently as he searched for another target to drown out his mind's clinking and grinding.

Fight after fight, and he took them all down. Even as the blows tallied up, he let his experience guide his fleet footsteps, every portal jump, and every last-minute shot. There was no time to stop to tend wounds. Hell, there was hardly enough time to gasp for breath in between each assault.

Finally, his last adversary fell. As the huge Heartless crashed to the ground, he allowed himself to straighten as much as he could, though he still slouched considerably. He couldn't feel a thing. The pounding of blood in his ears was his only rhythm, the guns he gripped in each hands the only companions he could ever need.

He was on autopilot as he summoned the corridor back to the castle and stepped through it, welcoming the familiar chills.

The first thing he heard after the corridor dissipated was the short screech of an interrupted Sitar note, and Axel's voice.

"Holy shit, man! What the hell did you do to yourself?!" The red-head cried as he removed himself from the glass he was leaning against. Xigbar glared him down blankly, moving to stride towards him and set things straight.

The first step was strong, but on the second he stumbled, his knee giving out on him for some god forsaken reason. Pausing to stare down at it, he froze, his daze lifting momentarily as he watched the dark red splotches appear on the smooth marble beneath him.

How many hits had landed, exactly?

In the Grey Area, even Saix looked up from his book-keeping to blink in disbelief, cutting off mid-sentence whatever he had been briefing Marluxia about.

Everything was still foggy, but he swore he was fine. No one looked away. Xigbar forced himself to laugh, though it was hollow. Slowly, the feeling was starting to creep back into his fingers, his cheeks. He frowned, and finally glanced down at himself.

He could feel the first tingles of pain in his face, and he inhaled sharply as a long gouge in his side caught fire, his gloved hand clamping down on the wound and the shockwave of pain that followed forcing him to double over another few inches, growling lowly.

No one got in his way as he made his way back to his room.

- - - -

"This is sooo lame. Why do I gotta go moppin' up the guy's bodily fluids? S'not my fault he got all messed up."

From across the room, Demyx heard Xaldin 'humph', and he took it as his cue to stop whining out loud. He still managed to grumble under his breath as he mopped, though, as it was totally unfair that he had to clean it up.

But, as Xaldin had clearly stated earlier, he wasn't really good for much else. Great to know he was valued around here. Maybe it meant he wouldn't have to do a mission tonight, though, and then he'd be able to relax and work on the newest song he was writing, or maybe go catch up on more sleep.

"I mean, what was he even fighting, to get beat up that bad?" He paused for a moment, then turned towards the general direction most of the others in the room were in. "Did anyone check on how he's doing? He's probably still bleeding out all over the floor, and I'd rather not have to mop that up, too…"

Axel scoffed as he made his way past to go wherever it was he was going. "He's a big boy, man, don't be worrying about him. He's taken his share of battle wounds." The pyro accented his words by sliding his finger up his cheek in the shape of Xigbar's large facial scar, and then tried to flash the younger boy a reassuring smile before continuing on his way.

Demyx still wasn't really convinced.

Not much later, one of the higher ranking members wandered by, absorbed in their tasks, and idly dismissed him from his chores. Quickly finishing up, he replaced the cleaning supplies in the closet he had fetched them from and made his way back up to the sleeping quarters.

Halfway to his room, he paused, his sensitive ears picking something up that his conscious had yet to identify. Freezing, he curiously waited for the sound to be made again, and surprisingly enough, it did. A low grunt, followed by a hiss. He blinked a few times, then followed the sound.

"Helloo~?" he called softly, peeking his head around a corner. Not finding anything, he knotted his brows together and slipped forward, his unrelenting curiosity driving him forward.

The boy paused for a moment and listened again, and was just about to cuss softly and give up when the hiss came again. He identified the room as Xigbar's, and nearly smacked his palm to his head for his own stupidity.

Of course it was Xigbar, why wouldn't it be? All he'd been seeing lately was Xigbar, but hey - he wasn't complaining. The fact that anyone was tolerant of his presence was definitely a nice change.

It wasn't that people hated him, he was convinced. It's just… Maybe his weakness and stuff got on their nerves? Other than Larxene. Yeah, he was certain she hated him, and he swore nothing anyone said ever could change his mind.

Returning to the task at hand, he crept towards the door, a playful grin creeping across his face as he reached for the doorknob and pause, leaning against it and ever so slowly turning the knob as silently as possible. After he had it fully unlatched with the door still closed, he waited a moment, then thrust his hip against the door, throwing it open with a loud crash.

Sitting hunched over on his bed, the Free shooter actually cried out and leapt back as the younger boy was propelled into his room, all smiles.

The smile was wiped from his face, though, when he remembered exactly who he was barging in on. Demyx snapped his hands up to cover his mouth and let out a muffled groan.

Now panting, Xigbar simply glared at him for a few moments before cupping his hand to the wound in his leg he had been tending to. It had ripped open again, and fresh blood was starting to bead around the semi-scabbed edges.

Number IX sucked in his breath with a hiss, then closed the door behind him gently, inviting himself in. The injured Nobody didn't seem to mind, or take much notice, really. He wrung his hands nervously, and stared at nothing in particular a little off to the side.

"You're real lucky I'm fond of you, Squirt, or your existence would come to an end then an' there."

Demyx glanced back and allowed a small smile to creep back in place, "Really? Like, really really?"

The older man squinted his remaining eye as he attempted to thread a needle he had drawn out of the small first aid kit he had open beside him on the bed. Demyx watched with the same incessant curiosity he always wore.

"Why aren't you healin' it with a potion'r somethin'? Wouldn't that be a lot less work? I mean, that's no biggie for a little cure spell, right? …Right?" He tilted his head a little.

Xigbar chuckled gruffly, not looking up from his work. When the needle slowly slipped into his skin, both he and the younger Nobody flinched, though Demyx's cringe was much more dramatic.

"Eaugh! What the hell, man!?"

He smiled as he stitched; letting his thoughts swirl around freely for the first time since that awful nagging had started. After a moment he stopped long enough to glance up. The expression on the Nocturne's face made him burst out laughing, the motion causing pain to radiate from the freshly-stiched gash across his ribs. He recovered quickly.

"You like the ocean a lot, don'tcha?" He asked after a moment, still smiling.

Demyx was completely dumbfounded. He stared, his hands raised, watching in a sort of disgusted trance as the wound leaked a small bead of blood with every needle puncture. It wasn't like, gushing, he admitted, but god, it was awful to watch. It took him a while to nod back, and then remembering he wasn't being watched, he made a small sound of confirmation.

"Why is that?"

"…Well uh, I always sort o' thought it was 'casue I can control water. It's real nice, the lapping waves, and-"

"You remember it."

He paused, then slowly nodded, "Yeah. Yeah I do. Not much, but… it's nice. "

Xigbar tied off his stitching, dabbed the wound, and took a swig from a bottle on his bedside table, which Demyx only then noticed. "Wanna know what I remember, kid? I remember battles and wars. I'm not scarred for no reason. Maybe it's the same thing. Maybe the stitches help me remember."

Demyx sighed and stared at the floor. "I…I guess, but wouldn't you wanna remember the... good things?"

"These are the good things, idiot. It's all I ever had." He scoffed and made a sort of grunt-laugh, then corrected himself. "He had. Whatever."

The Nocturne wrung his hands again, looking around nervously to secure an exit, more out of habit than anything. He just liked knowing where his nearest escape routes were, because sometimes summoning corridors took him more concentration than he could spare.

He had strong senses of self preservation, what could he say. It made him think of a good line he could stick in a song he was writing. He ran it through his head again, then hummed a little tune to test it out. It actually fit pretty nice! Even the verse before it flowed well, he mused. It'd make a nice pre-chorus, perhaps.

"You should sit down and stop lookin' so stupid, yeah?"

Interrupted, he stared for a moment then nodded sheepishly and sat on the very corner of the bed, surprised that he had actually been invited to stay. It was a rare occurrence, around here. Especially for Number IX. Xigbar had carefully lifted himself off the bed, and was re-adjusting his pants delicately around a small barrage of scratches too shallow for stitching.

Demyx was awed by the array of jagged scars that criss-crossed the higher ranking Nobody's rough back. Interested, he leaned forward and traced one, causing the owner to grunt.

"Woah! That one's a real big one, hey? How'd you get it?" He'd never really seen any of the other Organization members without their coats on, he realized. The stitching must have been too distracting for him to take notice of the scarring immediately.

The bigger man shrugged. "Dunno. I've got so many, it doesn't really matter anymore. It's a good reminder to keep your head down and your senses sharp, though. You'd best remember that, it's a good life lesson." Xigbar turned to look over his left shoulder and raise an eyebrow at the kneeling boy on his bed. He had paused with his coat half on one arm. "You don't look like you've got a mark on you, so you better remember that, lest you have t' learn the hard way."

Xigbar turned away and frowned, ungracefully tugging his coat the rest of the way on and zipping it up. He shook his arms to straighten in and let it fall comfortably into place.

He had triggered it again, he realized. What a joke. The boy didn't have a mark on him, he'd seen it himself. All smooth skin, like a child. Unmarred by the evils of the world. He grunted under his breath again.

"What's been up with you lately, man? Like, really this time. You're actin' all strange." Demyx put on his best tell-me pout and tilted his head up. Number II didn't look over to see the look. He let out a sigh of exasperation.

Still with his back turned, Xigbar opened his mouth to reply, then stopped and shut it abruptly. What would he even say, to that? Did he know himself…? He decided he didn't like thinking. It was a cruel thing.

The Melodious Nocturne sighed and sat back, his legs half-crossed beneath him. He summoned his Sitar idly, and plucked a few clear notes. In the back of his head he was still absently fitting his song together, and sitting around this long with nothing to occupy his hands bugged him.

The Freeshooter was equally as distracted by thoughts rooting around at the back of his head, but in contrast to the Nocturne's, his was of expanses of milky skin and doubts and muses over what it could mean to 'find' a heart.

The stitching had definitely brought something out in him, he mused. Even the drumming of battle-heated blood in his ears had made something twitch in him. He snatched up the bottle and took another deep drink.

Xemnas had told them repeatedly it was useless to try and be what they had been in their previous life. But if it was all they had, couldn't it give them something to cling to..?

He sighed and turned, closing his eyes. The boy was actually pretty good at what he did, he decided.

Mentally, he noted that that could possibly be applied to a lot more than just his strumming.


	3. III

**Kingdom Hearts (c) Disney and Square Enix**

I'm not gonna lie, _I'm_ not quite sure where this is gonna go. I probably shouldn't be stating that here, but hey. I'll do what I want, yeah? Resisting urges to put in what I had originally had planned for the fic, which included a lot of emotional abuse, but instead I might... play with some other things. I'm so not used to writing. Damnit, , I'm an artist, not a writer! Or.. Doctor. Bad reference, my god I apologize for that. That was kinda gross.

My DA is also BldyMalice, if y'd like. Though I don't draw fanart like, at all. It makes me feel kinda icky, idk. I much prefer writing to release fantardingness.

God, I was never good at planning things out. Once I have something planned and played out in my head, I always stumble and am unable to connect it. That's why, if you've been through everything else I have on here, particularly stuff like Cookie Jars and Kabuki Face Paint, it sets up REALLY strong and then fizzles out fast. Oops! :D

ALSO - **Kyuubs**, I want you on a freaking messenger. You're most definitely the most inspiring thing I've ever come across in my writing experiences. Hmmhmm.;;

Which makes me feel rather shy, but hey. Though I grazed over it in last chapter's rambles, I don't actually know a thing about writing. I just... start typing and go. So I work purely on talent, I have not a drop of 'skill' that needs to be worked for. ;;; It's a curse, but once I DO learn how to write, I'm hoping I can do some amazing shit some day.

* * *

Out on his private moonlit balcony, the leader of Organization XIII finally turned to acknowledge the man who had been addressing him for the last five minutes, "How rough of shape was he in, exactly?"

Number VII paused momentarily. "Completely torn up, sir. The likes of which I've never seen in the organization, especially from such a high-ranking member. Something must definitely be wrong with him, Superior, and I think it'd be a near danger to let him keep working if he's going to be getting destroyed like that."

"Or allowing himself to be destroyed like that.." Xemnas murmured, more to himself than his second-in-command. Number II had been with them long enough that there was no way a lack of abilities were to blame. "Very well. You may let him know I wish to speak to him in my office when he comes for his mission briefing this morning. I have work that needs to be done, so otherwise I expect to not be interrupted. Understood?"

Saix nodded curtly and turned on his heel, dismissing himself through a corridor.

- -

"You summoned me, Superior...?" Xigbar grumbled as he stepped from his corridor into the office. The entire space was crammed with shelves of books, tables strewn with papers, and a very large desk at which Xemnas now sat, leaning over a paper he was inspecting carefully. After a few moments, he raised his bright eyes.

"Hmm. Indeed. It seems as though there was an issue with your RTC yesterday. What have you to say about it?"

The gunner laughed, though it was short. "Oh, is that what this is about? I had no idea. I thought perhaps we were scheduling a trip out to the target range, a nice da-"

"Enough." The larger man commanded, his deep voice cutting the other man's word off at the syllable. "I have work to do, Number II, and I'm not up for your games today. Let me rephrase. Do you think yourself able to handle your work?"

"Well, of course I can handle my work. I've shown that often enough, haven't I? I-"

Again he was cut off, though this time it was by a look and the most subtle sound from the dark man's throat. Xigbar rubbed the back of his neck, knowing very well he was pushing his limits.

"The rate of abuse you've been taking has been rising constantly, Number II. I'll not have behavior like this in my organization, and since you're much too concerned with dancing around the topic than solve the issue, I'm assigning you a partner for an undetermined amount of time, after you take a few days off to heal and regain your senses."

Xigbar blinked slowly. His punishment for self-abuse was... working with someone? How did _that _work?!

"From today forward, you'll have Number IX under your command. Perhaps then we'll have something productive come out of both of you. Two birds with one stone, so to speak."

Xigbar choked a little, and raised his voice to protest. He was silenced with a wave before he could try and argue his way out of it.

"You push my patience far, Xigbar. I hope you know well that there are very few in this organization that I allow to throw respect away so easily. I suggest you do not allow yourself to get too comfortable with it, though. I will not hesitate to put you in your place because of your Rank.' Xemnas nodded, then re-adjusted the papers in front of him, returning his attention to them. "I've made my decision. You are dismissed."

Xigbar bit back his tongue. "Thank you, Sir." He managed firmly before backing out of the room with a slight bow.

When he emerged into the Grey Area, his first course of action was to stride over to Saix and plant his hands on the Mission Log he was writing in, demanding his attention.

"You don't think I can take care of myself, man?" he asked, scoffing in mock-offense. The Diviner growled subtly and looked up, unable to ignore him and keep writing.

"There was an incident and you were a part of it. I merely reported my observations-"

"And got me stuck with Demyx for the rest of forever."

Saix raised an eyebrow, "I had no part of that, though I do have the mission you two will be heading out on, when you feel you can handle it.."

"Of course I can handle it, man. I'm no kiddie. And I definitely don't need a child babysitting me."

From across the room, there was a slightly offended cry. "I'm not a child, damnit!" The words went ignored. Finally, he gave up and sighed heavily.

He straightened and crossed his arms over his chest, staring out the glass panels of the wall.

Some sort of sick irony, he was sure. As if he hadn't been seeing an unnatural amount of the water user as-is, now he was destined to see him every day of his existence, if he knew anything about their leader. Which he did.

He liked the kid, he really _really_ did, though he would never admit it to anyone, ever. The kid's philosophical views were rather refreshing after going so long under the finalistic tones of 'this is how it is now do what you're told'.

A scowl worked its way across his face. That was no reason for him to desire the company, though. Now, with the kid following him around at work, too, his only escape had been cut short. But the kid hadn't been what he was avoiding. There was no reason for that. He sucked his breath in sharply and rubbed his face before turning.

Really, this wasn't getting anything done. He decided to head back to his room, then it was out to target practice until he was allowed to work again.

- - -

"You ready?"

Demyx nodded meekly as he finished tucking a potion into his coat. Xigbar uncrossed his arms and let himself smile, patting the boy's shoulder roughly as he summoned the corridor and pushed him through. The several days of clearing his mind with target practice had done wonders for his moods.

Emerging on the other side, Demyx adjusted his coat by shaking it, then moved to the side to look up at his new partner and trying not to look nervous. "So uh. Yeah. Sorry about you gettin' stuck with me and all…"

The second rank veteran gave a friendly shrug. "Don't worry about it, kid. Let's just get this over with, shall we?"

Demyx grunted and took a good look around. "Isn't this the place Xaldin is usually stationed?" He asked after a moment, "It's so… dark and gloomy. What a killjoy."

Xigbar nodded. "There's an influx of Heartless here we're to take out. I hope you packed well…?"

Another reluctant nod. "You know, I really don't think they should've sent me on something like this, I mean, I could just go around lookin' at places, or collecting things, or-"

"They think since you're with me I'll be able to hold your back and get some decent work out of ya'"

Demyx frowned. That sucked, hard.

"And they assume that 'cause I'm lookin' after you, I'm not gonna work myself into th' ground. Makes sense, really. Bastards."

The younger boy groaned and started walking away, summoning his Sitar as he did so. It was _totally _awesome, being a punishment. Or a babysitter.

"This sucks so hard. I just want a vacation day. Or week. Maybe go somewhere with a cool breeze and a good ambience. Hnn." The Nocturne plucked a note or two on his Sitar longingly. He was about to turn around and ask the gunner where they should start looking when several long, crystalline projectiles whipped past his head, only several inches from his ear.

"Down!" Xigbar commanded as he tilted his hand to work around the fleshy obstacle, which had yelped and rolled off to the side, his Sitar on the concrete beside him. He watched, seated and shaking, as Xigbar shot down a small troop of jumpy, armored Heartless that had come up behind him.

The last shot had come so unbelievably close. He took another shaky breath, remembering all too well the calm smile the gunner had worn in his dream. Demyx shook his head to clear it, and weakly got to his feet.

"You _really_ need to pay attention, kid. That's how you lose eyes." He laughed, tapping his eye patch before swiping his arrow guns to reload them. "Comin'?"

Number IX nodded, "Yeah," He retrieved his Sitar and strummed it a little, setting a nice mental beat for himself, to set his mood right. It was a little jumpier than usual, and not very confident, but the rhythm of it was one that would keep him on his toes.

Xigbar watched the other bounce on his feet a little, his eyebrow raised curiously. He didn't really know what he had expected, though. He shrugged it off and started forward, scanning ahead of them carefully as they made their way across the open courtyard.

"Do you do that th' whole time you're on the field, Squirt?"

Beside him, Demyx nodded silently. He raised his eyebrow. The boy hadn't spoken a word since the strumming had started, and now he just stared forward, or checked his surroundings, his hands constantly moving in the same soft pattern.

He had noted the sound of it had deepened and gotten a bit heavier since they started, and he mused it might have had something to do with the state of mind the kid was in. It was almost like some sort of war beat, albeit not like one he'd ever heard. Needed more drums and chanting. The thought made him smile a little.

When the first group of Heartless spawned from nowhere, Xigbar was actually left staring for a few minutes after Demyx had called out firmly, summoning his water Nobodies with a flick of his wrist, the sounds from his Sitar intensifying and corresponding perfectly with each fluid movement of his watery drones.

Mentally kicking himself, Xigbar joined in, dodging wide of the opponents and assaulting them with a flurry of pinkish streaks.

The veteran was surprised at how quickly everything was defeated with the two of them. It'd been a long time since he'd partnered up for missions.

Even after taking out several volleys of Heartless as they made their way through the Castle, Demyx hadn't spoken a word other than to command his summons. He hadn't whined once, he hadn't groaned at an opponent - nothing. He had only stopped the deep strumming when straightening to examine large gashes in the ornate pillars, and that was just once.

"I had no idea you got so intense, kid. Uh. It's actually kinda creepy, you think you could lighten up a bit…?"

Demyx turned after a moment to make eye contact, his strumming softening though his hands still kept the motion. He held it there for a moment, then turned back and continued forward, stopping his strumming momentarily to peer around a corner before grunting and finally letting out a low whine.

"There's a LOT."

Xigbar came up beside him to check, "Welcome back. Looks like they're just meandering around o'er there. Like sittin' ducks."

"Welcome back..?"

Xigbar stared him down, his golden eye blank with mock disbelief. "Yeah. Do you always get that way when out here? Like a zombie, or a drone, man. It's a bit unsettling."

The Melodious Nocturne shrugged. "Not really. It's usually a lot harder to stay focused, but I'm not really down with fuckin' this up and looking like a complete idiot, since I'm stuck with you for forever and then some."

Number II thought he should probably be a little honored that the guy was trying for him. Instead the uncharacteristically stoic posture somehow managed to make his skin tingle. He shook it off.

"Let's hurry up and take these things out already, I don't like this place."

* * *

There was originally a large heartless, but I took it out for use probably later on, so if any bits weren't changed, ignore it. I decided to change it after submitting it the first time.

Fail fail fail.


End file.
